Holidays can be hard for us. Of course they are joyous. Of course we look forward to them. But there is always this fear in the back of my mind that its all going to fall apart at any minute. I have to plan for weeks, prepping LJB with social stories. If we are traveling, I have to make sure that wherever we are staying has a place where he/we can escape. I have to lay some sort of expectation for those that we will visit because we never know when he is going to melt down, and they need to understand that when he is upset or overstimulated that we need low lights, very little noise, etc.
Some of the stuff that I enjoy most about the holidays: house full of family, a break from our routine, lots of laughter, etc. are some of the very things that often send LJB over the edge. This is hard. I miss these types of holidays.
It is okay to miss what used to be, but I also find joy in the what is now. Tonight Mr B and I dyed Easter eggs with our boy. It was so fun. He arranged the cups of dye on the kitchen island. I am sure it was probably coincidence, but he put them in ROYGBIV order. As LJB dropped each egg into the cup of dye, he repeated the same instructions:
LJB: "Egg in (yellow)."
LJB: "Okay, I help."
LJB: "Out."
LJB: "It's okay."
Precious. And pretty funny.
I am enjoying this holiday. We are making memories.
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