Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Word to the Wise

I was trolling facebook the other day and there was a suggested link to a Huffington Post Parents article that caught my attention. Autism is not a parenting fail.  With a title like that, I had to read it and, boy, am I glad I did.  I'll tell you what, I've read it at least 3 times a day since then.  Brenda Rothman's words were exactly what I needed to hear that day.  It's my new mantra.  You should check it out.

I read the article aloud to Mr B.  We were both silent for sometime after.  It was just this sense of....I don't know....camaraderie....no....being understood?  Maybe.  It's hard to explain.  I think its hard to find words that describe so many moments in our lives.  This was one of those moments.  I swear she could have been a fly on the wall in our house during those early days.  My mommy radar was telling me, "something isn't right."  But everyone else was telling me otherwise.  Always listen to the mommy radar.

A few weeks ago, I spent the night out of town with my dear friend.  We were shopping for wedding dresses and bridesmaid dresses.  Such a precious time.  I made many memories that weekend.  While in town, I also managed to squeeze in some QT with a dear friend I'd nearly lost touch with (and probably would have without FB).  When I was in college, I worked teaching the 2-year old class in a Mother's Day Out Program.  It was during my first school year teaching MDO that I met the P Family.  Susie and I clicked from the start and I fell in love with her mini-me...a quirky, smart, little 2-year old.  I remember the Thursday morning before Christmas break that Susie told me that sweet little peanut was on the spectrum.  I thought...there's no way!  She's so smart and she seems so capable.  Lord, I hope I didn't say the things that came to my mind, but I can't remember.  I just remember feeling the palpable heartbreak and fear and 5,000,000 other emotions that I wouldn't understand for 10 more years.

Fast forward and I am having that same tear-filled conversation with a day care staff 100 miles away.  I am on such a similar journey.  She knows my fears because the same ones kept her up at night, she knows the isolation, she knows teh sense of utter helplessness, she knows the joy and the awe that I experience daily.  She's never met my boy, but she knows.  How good it was to share coffee and break bread with someone who knows.

In other news, the B's have our fingers crossed for a visit from Gramma and Grandaddy this weekend.  Don't tell them , but if they decide they can't make it up north, we may take the crazy wagon down south to visit them.  LJB has his first in over a year visit to the dentist in the morning.  Last week was crazy between illnesses, injuries, and work meetings, but we survived and this week has already been less dramatic.  Next week LJB has his final evaluation for the Early Intervention program, a home visit from his new ABA therapist, and his pre-school evaluation.  All this schedule change will likely make us a flappy, echolalaic, pacing bunch of crazy...but I guess I'd rather get it all over with at once.  At least we can engage in kitty therapy at the end of every day : )

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