Our Holiday with the Mouse

My family splurged on a trip to Disneyworld for Christmas.  We left on December 19^th and returned home on Christmas Eve. 

We flew from CVG to MCO.  It was an early morning flight and as soon as we got to our terminal, there was a huge display of balloons.  Anyone who knows LJB knows his obsession with balloons.  More than once, we have left the park in shame after LJB janked balloons from some unsuspecting first birthday party goers.  We have had hour long meltdowns while on a road trip because we drove past a car lot where balloons were strategically placed on every car antennae and I refused to stop and steal one for my child.  Kroger trips?  Fugeddaboutit.  We can’t go anywhere near the floral/balloon section.  However, I think a fair amount of sleep deprivation and a donut distraction and unfettered access to all the apps and games on the iPad kept us from beginning our trip that morning with a meltdown.  I also made sure to keep the balloon bouquet out of his line of sight as much as possible.

Once on the plane, Elmo and Mickey Mouse got us through the 1 hour flight.  It was pretty easy, but I can’t imagine doing a long flight.  That hour and fifteen was about our limit.

It must be the Disney magic, but that first day was such a low stress kind of day.  My daily life is stressful and hectic.  We are always on the move and I am always trying to foresee the next meltdown and figure out how to avoid it.  I sometimes get so bogged down in playing defense that I forget to enjoy the moment.

One low stress day turned into a low stress week.  Despite a trip to the ER, missing a full day in the parks, and having to change plans mid-stream, we managed to have one of the most fun vacations ever!

My takeaway from our trip is to try and absorb more of the moments that make up each day.  It takes an immense amount of planning for us to do lots of “normal family” things, but once I’ve planned all I can I need to let go and enjoy.  Toss out the mommy guilt for things beyond my control and let it be.  I just might find that there's so much fun I've been missing out on!

Let's Be Real

More than 2 years post autism diagnosis, our lives have changed so much!  LJB is in pre-school for 4 hours every day.  He receives Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy, and Behavioral Therapy at both pre-school and with our private therapists.  These saints (a.k.a. therapists) have worked magic with my child!  I don’t know what we would do or where we would be without them.

All of his progress is great, but can I be real with you?  Let's just be real.

Before we were thrust into this world of therapies and home visits, I was always so concerned with making sure that things were just so before we had company.  I would never have let someone in the door of my home if the floors hadn’t been swept, the toilets scrubbed, all surfaces dusted, etc.  I made sure everything was in its place and perfectly tidy before we had guests.  This has all gone out the window.  At our behavioral therapist’s last visit, there was a pile of day old dishes in the sink, the couch was covered in a thin layer of cat hair, LJB’s dirty clothes were in the living room floor, and there were tooth paste smears in the sink.  I just didn’t have the energy to pretend any more. Our life is chaotic and my house is messy.

You know what? She never batted an eye.

In the new year, I’m working hard on being real.  Stop pretending; stop fussing over the things that don’t matter.  There were dirty clothes in the floor because I spent an extra 10 minutes that morning snuggling my boy.  The dirty dishes?  Yeah, that’s because after a full day of work and a therapy appointment, I managed to cook a nutritious meal for my family.  What can I say?  The tooth paste is evidence that after more than a year of meltdowns and interventions, LJB will actually let me brush his teeth (most days).  The cat hair is from the cat that brings comfort to an overwhelmed 4 year old after a day of big demands, working harder than 95% of the adults I know. I wouldn’t change a thing about that mess.

So, if you come to my house – and you’re always welcome- just know it’ll be real.  I won’t be pretending.  There will probably be dishes in the sink and a mess in the living room. 

On a related note, I’m trying to be more real and let Lennon make relationships on his own terms.  I’m retiring my helicopter wings and leaving him to play.  This is possibly the hardest thing I’ve done since I became a parent.  Letting him go and watching him struggle to talk to friends is so hard.  When his friends, cousins, care givers, etc. give too many verbal instructions, or ask too many questions, LJB’s brain stops working.  He gets so frustrated.

Typically LJB will try one time to use words to let someone know that he is becoming overwhelmed.  However, this usually just sounds rude to someone who doesn’t understand that when he yells, “STOP TALKING!”  what he really means is, “The words are coming out of your face faster than they can be processed by my brain.”  After that one chance, he resorts to some of the old behaviors that we are trying so hard to extinguish.  He throws things, becomes self-injurious, cries, hits, etc.  I try staying away, letting him work it out.  But it is hard.

So I’m not going to pretend like it’s easy to be real and to let go BUT since I began making the effort I’ve been less stressed.  I’ve learned that those that love us, love us no matter what my house looks like or how many times LJB tells them to “STOP TALKING!”  The mess can wait, it’ll be there tomorrow. In the meantime, I'll be snuggling my boy and his kitty, we'll be having our home cooked dinner on the couch, and watching the Lego Movie for the 10 billionth time.  This is real life.

“Quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep.  I’m {being real with my 4 year old} because babies don’t keep!”